So what is mind mapping and desire mapping?
What do you want to be when you grow up? Don’t laugh – if the answer isn’t “exactly what I’m doing right now”, there’s a good chance you’re not in your forever job. And, hey, that’s okay – after all, how was your 18-year-old self meant to know what career choice would make you bounce out of bed for the rest of your days?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve made a list of goals. Seemingly important milestones that provided steppingstones to my idea of success as a woman, a mother, a creative, and as a woman in business. After a changing shift in my life a few years back (a censored way of saying divorce), I started practising life mind mapping at the beginning of each year. A meticulous colour coded guide for my measurable success. The problem with maps? They rarely allow for U-turns and dead ends! In goal terms, those look more like failures.
Enter my mindset and strength coach - more on her another time because she is an essential service and you need to know this!
Specific to this PSA, Tui introduced me to ‘Desire mapping’. The 2.0 version of my own ‘Life map’. She introduced me to Danielle LaPorte, the creator and author of The Desire Map, an ideology that fits into any of our existing calendar or goal systems. Danielle describes it as “the horse that pulls the cart”.
Understanding first and foremost, “desire is the foundation of our will to live and when you cease to desire, you cease to evolve”. Her book teaches us that knowing your desires is a potent form of clarity and energy and seeking them is the most powerfully creative thing we can do. I had always felt a disconnect with my Life mind mapping. Writing down accomplishments and material attainment always felt embarrassing. Somewhere along the way, I taught myself that wanting things made me less appreciative, more self-entitled and privileged. The truth is, we are all striving for more, more accolades, more wealth, more societal approval and traditional methods of strategic goal setting requires a certain level of acknowledgement of this and indeed has its merit. Where my life mapping success was determined by an endpoint or material acquisition, desire mapping puts our feelings at the centre of our brainstorm - and that has a profound effect on how our lives might look, not in six months, but now! It gives more meaning to the present, something I believe society has forgotten to appreciate. Danielle writes, “when you get clear on how you want to feel, the pursuit itself becomes more satisfying. The quality of the journey and the destination begin to merge in our heart”.
One of my favourite teachings from the book is this — Never underestimate the power of want. This needs to be a fridge magnet!
And boy, do I want! Or let’s call it, desire.
I desire to fall in love every day, be desired, to dance, to write, to listen, to create, to make money, to share money, to have abs, to be close to the ocean, to feel free, to laugh, to have lots of sex, to eat carbs!
Behind these desires is a feeling and these feelings are meant to “lead to our soul”.
I desire to feel; loved, wanted, accomplished, creative, vivacious, engaging, brave, sexy, intelligent…this is one of those never-ending lists! These are feelings, by I wanted to get to my core feelings. I was able to look back at moments in my life where I felt extreme emotion that made me feel like cloud nine was my lockdown residence. Meditating on those specific emotions, I felt motivated by the idea that I would essentially be inviting them back into every area of my life! To feel brave, proud and generous.
And with that, something beautiful happened. I felt innate respect and a deeper understanding of myself I hadn't acknowledged before. I was emotionally connected to myself in a profound way that allowed me to be more vulnerable and compassionate towards my history, my failures, my U-turns and my dead ends. I feel empowered to make light work of decisions in my life now that I have those three desires as guiding pillars.
The two-part book by Danielle LaPorte focuses on both the theory and the methodology (the workbook). Perfect self-development homework for our time in isolation where reflectiveness is welcomed and feelings are free and easy.
Now, bear in mind that I am only weeks into my Desire Map enlightenment. Every day is a lesson about myself, my potential and my map. It’s ironic that inside my isolation bubble, I feel more freedom than I have ever felt.
Words — Kelly Taffard
Thank you, Kelly
