the Lit List’s Self-Reflection Book Edit
I turned 35 last month, and it’s always wild and somewhat unabashedly comforting to find yourself in that cathartic state where you’re evaluating life and what you’ve achieved up to this point. Work, relationships, friendships maintained, relationships lost. It’s a gracefully personal skewed view of our most sought-after emotions; there’s this unwritten treatise that floats around the depths of our mind as to whether we’ve ticked off anything on that (in my case, the millennial) checklist: The house, kids, marriage, stable job, more kids. As the years wear on, I’ve found myself adjusting to what I’ve been holding onto and what I need to let go of — the barriers of love and raking through the cultural paradigms of the ideal versus reality, the sacred versus emotional redemption. These pathways to self-development have been easily translated into books we find ourselves absorbed in-spouts of fiction, and bold original pieces of non-fiction have slowly trickled into my literary repertoire for the better. There’s this sort of concise way about them that provides a model for learning to ‘just live’ — this nonchalant way of looking past the ‘chicken soup’ and the checklists and stepping outside the confines of societal intellect and into the new ethics of a world where being honest triumphs.
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
This memoir will have you attempting to understand, forgive, and marvel at the intelligence of children embracing life freely. This is one of those memoirs that will have you trembling at how highly dysfunctional and uniquely vibrant Walls’ family was – a father living within the confounds of physics and geology, hellbent on executing flamboyant ideas and a mother with a free spirit who abhorred the idea of domesticity and being a mother to her children. Jeannette’s journey towards resilience is nothing short of a spectacular and fascinating commentary on the daunting challenge of raising oneself amidst destruction.
A boy named Yunjae was born with a brain condition called alexithymia, making it hard for him to feel emotions like fear and anger. His devoted mother and grandmother are his main caregivers, providing sensible mechanics to functioning within society. After a random act of shocking violence, Yunjae is thrust into a world where he is alone and finds himself retreating into silent isolation, left trying to figure out the nuances of blending into society. This is a novel that is jam-packed with emotion and is a phenomenal book on one’s journey towards stepping outside of the comfort zone and into a world of exploration.
What can only be described as a brave, intelligent and vulnerable look at an emotion that has touched everyone. As she explores the confounds of love and the intellect of the heart, we are pulled into the depths of the very ethos of ‘What is Love?’ and her own search for emotional connection and society’s failure to provide a model for learning to love. This book will have you pulled into a redemptive state – evaluating the very core of your previous relationships and current and a society bereft with lovelessness. An essential to your bookshelves.
This is a book dripping in emotion and desire; a love affair between two young women set in Shanghai, pushes the extremes of the boundaries between sex and love. Concepts in itself that everyone finds themselves navigating, this novel literally confronts the concept of love being as vital as oxygen – dramatic as it sounds, will an absence from love result in one’s demise? This novel explores the battle of being emotionally eviscerated by another and the pursuit of one’s place in a society where organic connections are established. An identity questioned, set against the juxtaposition of lust.
The Lonely City by Olivia Laing
This can only be described as an investigation into ‘loneliness’ and the ‘art of being alone’. Featuring aspects of cultural criticism and memoir-esque investigations, the physical evidence curated alongside Edward Hopper paintings, commentary on Andy Warhol’s machine-like aesthetic and David Wojnarowicz’s existence of artworks speaking to the Aids ravaged 1980’s New York, are just a few of the instances that Laing uses in her inquiry. This is one of those novels that will have you accepting that being alone is wonderfully freeing and this fantastical concept shouldn’t be met with contempt but rather acceptance and joy.
Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata
This 2016 novel provides a commendable portrayal of protagonist Keiko and those around her and most importantly the issues facing Japanese society. Murata captures the atmosphere of familiarity juxtaposed with the pressures of one’s ability to conform to society, labor shortages, marriage rates and what it’s like being single in Japan. In a way, you could say that many of these issues subside not just in Japan but all over the world and the confines of the female status to provide convenience and relive that delightful label of being the diligent wife. For those who consider themselves the ‘oddballs and the misfits’ in a society that wants so much more- this is for you.
From infertility to depression to menopause, this frank collection of essays by Pine will have you sitting there in silence with a glass of wine in hand. Pine explores the silence and shame of growing up in a female body – those taboos and expectations that seem to come with such a form are unlocked and sprawled amongst these pages. There’s an honesty and rawness that comes with these essays and one that I appreciated greatly in a world I still find so hard to navigate still. A must read.
Sudjic explores the concepts of anxiety and self-doubt amongst the pool of unexplainable chaos and trauma- Anya a 20-something PhD student in London grew up during the brutal siege of Sarajevo in the 1990’s/ an aftermath that saw the deaths of 14,000 people. The psychological effects of trauma are exhibited in waves of memories that are raw and unsettling. As Anya embarks on the day to day – her PhD, failing to take her driving test, living with her boyfriend etc, Laing successfully pulls in the enormity of the effect of revisiting memories once buried and their counter effects on complicity and one’s emotional integration in society.
Things I Have Loved by Sophia Hembeck
A memoir that sold over 400 copies on publication day will be enough to have you rushing out to get one for yourself. Blurring the lines between poetry and memoir, Hembeck used objects she has loved to examine themes of love, longing, and self-worth. There are experiences scattered throughout told with such rawness, that will have you hung on every word and the pop culture references are gold. I found myself revisiting and reflecting on the things that hold such importance in my life and their significance to what was gained / missed and lost. The deep-dive memoir you didn’t know you needed.
Things I Don’t Want To Know by Deborah Levy
The first instalment of Levy’s essential autobiography trilogy, Levy offers her own reflections on carving one’s identity as a writer. The contested territory set against the uncertainties of what it means to be a woman and the challenges faced in a world where anger, frustration and confusion permanently subside, are some of the issues infused into this with unfaltering wit and insight. This is a novel that speaks to staking one’s claim and shaping the turbulent wheels of uncertainty to what one needs. This will have you relooking your goals with a sense of renewed vigour and enthusiasm.
words: Rachel Soo Thow
