Orgasms: are you getting your recommended daily dose?
We know that getting your 5+ a day is an integral part of a healthy diet, but it turns out getting it on packs just as many health benefits!
So if it's so beneficial for our health, then why is no one talking about it? Many people, especially women, find it extremely difficult to talk about sex; it can be a sensitive and awkward topic that raises feelings of embarrassment, shame, or inadequacy.
One day we'll be able to talk about sex the way we talk about the weather - sunny with a chance of orgasms and a few wet and slippery showers expected later in the day. Pack your umbrella now because I'm doing my part to spread the sexy word. When we don't talk about it enough, we don't give room to talk about a fundamental part of human nature.
“I want to introduce you to Holistic Sexuality. It means embracing sex from a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual perspective. Looking at sex with a broader lens allows us to get out of our comfort zones and explore our full expression of Sexuality.”
Prioritising pleasure leads to better wellbeing. If there was ever a time we needed to reap the benefits of orgasms, it's now. But sometimes, people feel guilt and shame around the topic, and we can't feel sexy if we feel guilty, now can we? That guilt you’re experiencing? It's directly related to the pleasure you don't feel. You deserve to experience all the pleasure orgasms offer without self-judgment or fear. Because you are human, and you are sexy as hell! We're all wired for connection, which means a loving touch from your (sexy) self or a lover can tick your nervous system over to parasympathetic mode - cue the rest and digest.
“Not to mention, the health benefits of orgasms are wild: Not only can they help you sleep better, but orgasms can also lower your cortisol stress levels, boost your immune system and enhance feel-good oxytocin and dopamine levels - and those are just a few of the benefits. ”
I get it though. You're probably wondering how to actually accomplish that. Plus, there's the "I'm single/don't have time/my partner isn't connected/are my genitals broken?". The good news is, you’re not broken and you can do it on your own. Try carving out some time and start with a few simple things to set the mood. Light a candle, find a sensual playlist and begin to explore your body with curiosity, reverence, and slowness. For many people, masturbating is usually a quick and efficient affair. You know — get in, get off, get out. Do your best to forget the end goal, and bathe in the exploration without ‘needing to finish’. Focus on taking your time and touching yourself mindfully. Self-touch is the new self-care and is a great way to get to know your body, get in touch with what turns you on (and off), and more than anything, have fun!
Where do I start?
What's your sexual narrative? Be aware of your feelings. Are you sensing shame, full-body tension, or disgust around intimacy or your body? Embrace that and ask yourself - ‘how do I want to feel instead?’ Then navigate new ways of pleasuring yourself. And while not every time you explore yourself it’ll be a perfect picture of mindfulness, nor should it, you deserve to indulge in a deeper holistic self-love ritual.
We get flustered, we get embarrassed, we get awkward, and when it comes to sex suddenly we start whispering. If we all got a little more comfortable talking about sex, we could stop the cycle of shame around pleasure and instead build it into the wellbeing realm.
I lovingly support you and remind you that you’re sexy, exquisite and capable! It's there, it's good for you, and the best part? You don't even need the total daily servings to experience the benefits.
Words — Melissa Vranjes
Certified Holistic Sexuality Coach
Image — via Pinterest
