Beauty Blast #6
About 30 or so minutes ago, I abruptly realised I’ve now been locked up for three weeks. I have my own apartment, which is dope but deadly. I’m the perfect toxic mixture of an introvert-extrovert, so I’m constantly battling the lockdown slump (borderline claustrophobia) or weirdly feeling quite cosy.
Right now, all I really have is myself and my beauty products. That’s it. I’m not at the point where I will start colour coordinating them or murmuring to them; that’s likely to come soon. I haven’t written a beauty blast in like five or so months, so this should be beautifully disappointing.
As always, let’s blast.
The one thing we love more than a Kiwi success story is when we ruthlessly take the competition to the cleaners. Emma Lewisham has developed a reputation in the market for delivering scientifically validated results. Emma Lewisham’s Supernatural 72-Hour Hydration Crème is up to 21 times more effective at stimulating Type I collagen production synthesis in the skin’s cells when compared to leading luxury cosmetic products: Augustinus Bader ‘The Rich Crème’, La Mer ‘Crème de la mer’ and Estee Lauder ‘Advanced Night Repair’. The proof really is in the pudding. I bloody love this creme.
Krave Beauty – Great Barrier Relief
Here’s the thing: skincare enthusiasts, aficionados or whatever you want to plaster us as – we destroy our skin barrier. Constantly. Don’t trust any beauty blogger who’s recommending you a new chemical exfoliant every other week, don’t fall for it. Somewhere in the myriad of mass consumerism, we forgot the whole point of what we’re trying to achieve, which is care for our skin. There’s a reason barrier creams are having a moment in the beauty industry – because people were destroying their barriers when they were all cooped up in lockdown. I rate this serum. I’ve started using it after I have a crap shave as it’s so soothing, healing and calming for the skin. Packed to the rim with ceramides, niacinamide and tamanu oil – it smells awful, but I’ll take that on the chin.
Kosas – Air Brow Treatment
One for the hairy slugs! If you want a gel that will actually keep your brows in shape, get this. I can’t comment on whether it’s helped grow or strengthen my brows because I basically overdose on ingestible collagen daily. Hence, the Lil fokers grow like weeds, BUT this treatment definitely holds the hairs tight while giving it a beautiful lift so you can fill in your gaps.
Le Labo – Shower Gel Hinoki / Sesame
Sexy as fuck. Never have I ever come across a body gel with such a masculine, fresh aroma. No words. Drown me in this shower gel. It also has the perfect cleanse to it; it’s not overly bubbly or too watery. It honestly smells like sex with a fancy old guy who’s trying to whisk you away for some European bender. Jaw-dropping, highly recommend, will repurchase and will continue to apply religiously.
Go-To – The Removalist Clay Mask
Go-To kindly sent me an arrival gift a few months back, and I immediately ripped it open in the hopes of finding its new clay mask, The Removalist. I’d seen it scattered all over my IG feed, so I was obviously gagging to give it a whirl. On several occasions, I’ve declared my love for various products by the brand; this was not one of them. I wanted to like it!! I tried!! I don’t like how it dried out on my skin (or rather, didn’t really dry it enough), and although it’s never ideal to use clay masks that leave your skin feeling too tight, this IMHO didn’t extract enough gunk and wasn’t work the clean, white face cloth. Damn. I also strongly dislike the bubble gum scent, but that’s just a personal thing, and I’m sure some of you would froth it.
Oral-B – iO Toothbrush
I mean, if you have $669 to drop on a toothbrush, yeah, get this. It’s crazy, like a rave in your mouth. I’ve never felt inferior to a toothbrush until now. I still wonder if I should chuck it under my home contents insurance plan. It has over five settings, including (whiten, gum care, intense – which made my mouth bleed, daily clean, sensitive etc.). It also lights up as you use it; I told you it was a party. The brush uses rotating cleaning motions with micro-vibrations to redefine the concept of brushing your teeth; it’s beyond boujie. The only issue is that you need to change the brush head every couple of months which will set you back around $50 for two, ha.
Dermalogica – Smart Response Serum
This is seriously clever. The latest serum from Dermalogica delivers personalised results based on your skin’s needs and concerns with each customised pump. The serum works to target your skin’s hydration levels, pigmentation, brightness and inflammation and identifies which concerns your skin could use some TLC with and addresses them. I have no idea how they created this technology, so don’t ask.
Kosas – Tinted Face Oil
I’m going through a love affair with Kosas ATM. This is my new date product, and I know Saucettes lap up my date products. If only I could get somewhat of a date. Alas. I rarely use makeup, but I’ve found my weak spot with this oil-concealer hybrid. It’s deeply nourishing but not at all clogging, thanks to avocado oil. The glow, though, it’s real. I use two tiny pumps, and that’s enough to cover my whole face. If I have a shaving rash, I will use a little bit more and deeply massage it into my skin to ensure the tint doesn’t get on my collars because that’s not the vibe. Seriously this is worth the hype and so subtle. I also love how the oil leaves you dewy, not sweaty. Sorry, I am just rambling.
Youth To The People – Superclay
Now, here’s a facemask I am fucking with. I will never forget the Saturday night where I was masking at like 2 AM, and I slathered this all over my face, and when I washed it off, two pimples had come to a full-on head upon rinse. I popped them both, knowing full well I should have slapped a pimple patch on them instead. Omg, it was so satisfying the thought of it right now sends shivers down my spine. This clay mask sucks all the gunk out of your pores after just twenty minutes. Niacinamide is incorporated to help reduce inflammation and discolouration, which can so easily happen when you’re masking – you’re letting clay dry on your face, duh.
Good Stool – Standard White
Weird flex, but I am here for this. I was sent a Good Stool to help with my bowel movements, and….. it actually works!! Humans are meant to squat when they poo. We’re not designed to sit on our lazy arses down to shit, but we do. The best way to poo is in a squat position for posture reasons. Squatting relaxes your puborectalis muscle and allows your anal canal to straighten, supporting a more complete bowel motion. Lol.
Words — Liam Sharma
