Beauty Blast #5
Oh, I’m back.
I want to pull the curtain open on beauty writing briefly.
Beauty journalists don’t just magically have a gazillion products in their vanity. Beauty journalists get paid piss poor, except for a rare few; there is no way we could afford it all without a loyal trust fund or the generosity from brands trying to peddle. Being a beauty writer is really not as glamorous as one would expect – that’s why I never wanted to pursue it as a full-time occupation. I do it because I love it, and I also fancy a shit tonne of free product. So sue me, you prune. I fucking love skincare, and writing pays for my addiction (I wish it covered the rest of them). I need to be involuntarily committed to rehab to deal with my beauty addiction. November/December are the worst months for me; writers get sent too many products because brands are rolling out holiday collections – I always overdose and send my skin’s barrier to heaven.
The logistics of beauty writing are pretty simple. Brands will send press releases to journalists; if they’re smart and want any genuine traction, they will also send free samples (but never a sample size!!!). From there, inspired journalists will dabble in the products and share their honest reviews (I like to think this is me), and lazy, uninspired writers will copy and paste press releases and click publish. Two years ago, I copied and pasted a press release because I was on a deadline, and I wanted to get out of the office and get boozed. It still haunts me. I’m a fraud.
That’s why I think anyone that writes beauty articles for free (editorially) is going to heaven. Period. Editorial writers are basically offering their faces free of charge. They are just one pump away from a full-blown reaction at any given moment, and it’s all for free. For your reading pleasure.
99.9% of the beauty writing I do on Sauce is for free. 99.9% of the beauty products I cover on Sauce I’ve been gifted. I’m just being honest. But you can’t buy my opinion. I’ll give it to you all for free, but it’ll never be censored or, even worse, bias. I won’t have it. If I’m spending hours of my time applying everything under the sun, compromising my barrier and risking it all so you can shop with an ounce of comfort, a cushion of sorts, you best believe I’m blasting the truth.
So, let’s keep it real. Shall we? I’ve rounded up my stand-out, tried and true products of 2021. You better thank me later.
For the mop head
Evo – Salty Dog Spray
Random flex, but I’m rolling with it. I’m not a hair connoisseur. All I know is that the moment I even catch a glimpse of my receding hairline, I will be jumping straight onto OnlyFans to crowd-fund for my hair transplant. My hair has no structure when it’s freshly cleaned. I’ve always used gel, wax is too sticky, and it freaks my fingers out. I do find gel a bit childish. Like, it reminds me of spitting on my hand and licking it across my fringe when I wanted to feel skux in year six. I got sent this hair spray, and I am literally drop-dead obsessed. I spray three generous pumps on my dome, and it gives it unparalleled structure. My hair has swag like Jonny Bravo. So much structure! It smells fantastic, and I love the fresh from the beach vibe. If your hair resembles a Pekingese after you wash and condition, I seriously recommend buying this.
I’m a hoe for opulence
Eve Lom – Intensive Night Cream
Damn straight, this is $200. Worth every cent IMO. This is one of my favourite night creams, and I love a night cream way more than I love a night mask. It cleverly incorporates retinol, so you wake up with fresh baby cheeks. It’s decadent, like whipped butter. Smells legitimate, too.
Glow baby, glow!!!
Emma Lewisham – Illuminating Brighten Your Day Creme
New Zealand’s leading beauty brand is at it again, and they did not come to play games. I’ve confessed my love for Glossier’s Futuredew before, so now imagine my surprise when someone beats Futuredew’s glow. Emma’s Day Creme is all class. It’s a light-weight, radiant creme that truly leaves your skin drop-dead-delicious. The sun would be envious. But not in a tacky, shimmery way, instead in a healthy, I want your routine immediately way. I’m here for this.
I need to tell you the unfortunate truth
Summer Fridays – Jet Lag Mask
I am a religious Summer Fridays user. I use the exfoliating solution like I drink water. It’s a dope brand, and I’m a true fan. However, the jet lag mask gave me a terrible reaction. It was vicious, but thankfully it was short-lived (it subsided over a few hours). I believe I was using a Jet Lag Mask from a run that had been compromised. Personally, it was an instantaneous overload of fragrance. It was sore, and I won’t use this product ever again. I will say the brand fronted up for it on social and in front of the media, so kudos, sweeties. I hope you enjoy my reaction photo, lol.
Fan-farkin-tastic
Drunk Elephant – Marula Luxury Facial Oil
Omg. I can’t with this face oil. I never rave about oils, my skin suffers from congestion, and I (sometimes) feel like facial oils trigger my congestion. But damn, hon. This is one of the most refreshing, decadent facial oils I have ever tried in my life. A little goes a hell of a long way, hence the price. Marula oil is rich in antioxidants, and I found it incredibly hydrating come morning, which we love. It doesn’t ruin your pillow cases, too!!
Kiss me immediately
Kosas – Wet Lip Oil in ‘Dip’
I’ll keep this short and sweet, much like my booty calls. If I am kissing anyone, I am putting on Kosas Lip Oil in whatever colour I’m feeling. It’s got hyaluronic acid, which keeps your lips plump and juicy. Just how we like it.
Decadence, darling
Sunday Riley – LUNA
I do really love myself some Sunday Riley. I don’t know why they went to so much effort to fake all those customer reviews. Lol. People would’ve just done it naturally; the products work. The night oil is rich in anti-ageing retinol, it’s got a blue tint due to the blue tansy, and the avocado oil gives it a hydration kick. If you can splash out on it, do it.
French do it better
Biologique Recherche – Creme VIP 02
If you want to spoil someone, get them this. You can use it all over your body. I use it all over my chest and back when I’m daring to be shirtless. Anyway, it’s a thicker cream that is ultra-hydrating, and the pearly demeanour leaves a slight glow. This will be a dream in winter. I always feel fancy when I use it, just like the French, I assume.
Acne’s worst nightmare
Murad – Clarifying Cleanser
Suppose you have problematic skin and struggle with the odd outbreak of black and whiteheads; I’d definitely use a cleanser with salicylic acid to help mitigate excess sebum in your pores. It works. It’s not magic; it’s just science.
Words & Images — Liam Sharma
