A toast to the multifaceted women in my life
In partnership with G.H.Mumm
The perfect pairing for the most special of celebrations, flowers and G.H. Mumm
May is the month to celebrate mums
There are many words to convey the meaning of motherhood. It is made of moments of complete devotion and vulnerability, while also making room for moments of strength. It can take on many different meanings for each one of us, that’s the beauty of it all. Whether we are redefining ourselves as parents or we are coming to terms with a loss of identity, or feeling very much engulfed with joy and wonder. Motherhood continues to evoke such visceral emotions.
It is, for many reasons, such a nuanced role that begs to be appreciated, celebrated and explored. The role of a ‘mother’ is interesting because it is powerful and it imbues those who come to embody the role with a level of power so magnetic you can’t help but want to get to know them. So, this month, in partnership with G.H.Mumm I wanted to raise a toast to the incredible mothers and women in my life, who while in possession of such power have come to share the best lessons. Lessons, I too have had to learn, but grateful to have had them as part of my village.
With that said, here is a toast to the multifaceted mothers in our lives…
Nancy Johnson-Hunt, PhD Student and Popular Culture Researcher, Mama to Sterling and a fur-baby Geoffrey
Nancy wears Maggie Marilyn cropped blazer with Georgia Jay bag
Landing on inspiration —
I find inspiration in the stories I read and the stories I get to share.
I am surrounded by eloquent, powerful, radical humans and they are who inspire me. They are nurturing and tender and that helps me discern how I can be a better friend, partner and all-round human. From my own mother to my friends (all gender/neuro-identities and sexualities) I can always be my complete self and they love me anyway, it’s the best form of encouragement and reassurance at the same time. I am grateful to them for not only inspiring me, but for indulging my vulnerabilities.
I also derive inspiration from what I get to do, I get to engage with the world in an academic way, it’s what I immerse myself in and it is how I understand the world around me. I have always been drawn to academia and honestly research makes me so happy. It is gratifying to creating words on a page that people will talk about, in a meaningful and inspiring way.
Becoming a mother and navigating motherhood —
What I love most about being a mother is by evolving the current narrative of motherhood. I have always enjoyed subverting from more traditional notions of gendered roles. Being a mother to me is to help shape the next generation, by guiding them in challenging archaic conventions and rules and eventually helping them find their own distinct voice in the world. For me it’s less about the motherhood label and more about what we can do as individuals and as community members in guiding children. Motherhood has never been my entire identity and is what I do, as opposed to who I am.
To quit or to pull through —
I often feel the need to quit. So, I think I do quit every day. I quit trying to be someone and something I’m not.
I think it’s really important to remember that quitting is not the same as failing. Despite what our society will tell you. In fact, the proto-Indo meaning of the word quit is “to rest” and “be quiet”. So this idea that quitting is associated with a negative meaning has definitely evolved. We live in a society that anything we set our minds to is like the metaphorical concrete, like we aren’t allowed to change or grow, but place enough pressure on concrete and it cracks. We’re the same, we place too much pressure on ourselves to not crack, and not quit and pull through. We simply cannot derive our worth from needing to “soldier on”, which is a very Western or should I say individualistic way of thinking.
“I never pull through situations that no longer serve me or my spirit. It is a good skill to have acquired over the years, so if you feel strongly… quit.”
On finding balance —
I only know how to juggle. To ‘balance’ is maybe a stretch, is there such thing? I can barely balance a chequebook let alone my life, but I try.
Sarah Lindsay, Yoga Instructor, Founder of SALA, Mama to Ophelia
Sarah wears Maggie Marilyn blazer
On finding balance —
I think I had to first adjust my definition of balance. My pre baby life was quite hedonistic, so my post baby definition is getting enough time to fill up my cup, and spend time with my husband and friends being a woman outside of ‘mama’.
In order to strike this balance I had to look deep into some shadow parts of myself and what purpose they serve. My previous inability to ask (or accept help), the mask of always being busy - all these shadows created to at one point make me feel safe, but in motherhood detrimental. I’m shedding these layers, and I feel more and more free as time goes on. I have now accepted not having a support network here in Auckland means I have to create it - I pay for it. We have a nanny every Saturday so Joshua and I can either enjoy five hours solo filling up our cups separately or together. I also accept any help that is offered. If a friend wants to take baby O for a walk for an hour, I accept it. I take the help. It was challenging at first but now I find accepting help liberating. Letting the walls break down, and accepting my village with open arms.
Staying grounded —
Meditation is the way I always come back to myself. It’s taken me a lot of practice to cultivate a daily practice, but my life is much richer for it. I love walking, music, dancing. I also love the sauna. I realised in that little hot box, it’s one of the few activities which I engage with that I’m not in some way ‘led’ - like in a yoga class, or journal prompt. It’s one of the only times I’m absolutely alone with body autonomy.
“I have now accepted not having a support network here in Auckland means I have to create it - I pay for it. We have a nanny every Saturday so Joshua and I can either enjoy five hours solo filling up our cups separately or together. I also accept any help that is offered.”
On values —
Living a life in line with my core values, daily.
Sometimes this means consciously realigning with these values if I get swept up in the chaos of society’s definition of success, which will always be financial (hello capitalist system). When I realise that’s happening, I reflect on the things that really matter to me. The life I want to live rather than the things I want to own.
Portia Prince, Model, Stylist and Digital Creator, Mama to Ngaire
On finding balance —
I actually feel like I’m slowly figuring out different methods and as Ngaire grows I keep learning.
I have always enjoyed work and working for myself and it’s a commitment I made to my 23 year old self. Finding a balance is something I’ve had to work on but this we have just got to a very good place. A routine that works for us. I prioritise my time with Ngaire and make sure we’re pretty active together. Working for myself as a new mum through a pandemic has been a wild ride but one of my greatest achievements now that I look back, I’m proud of myself for what I’ve achieved and I don’t think we as women praise ourselves enough for the amount we get done as mummas. The pioneers of multitasking.
“Working for myself as a new mum through a pandemic has been a wild ride but one of my greatest achievements now that I look back, I’m proud of myself for what I’ve achieved and I don’t think we as women praise ourselves enough for the amount we get done as mummas.”
On discovering parenting clichés —
There actually is - when people used to tell me that it all goes really fast. It does. In the blink of an eye… I now have a bilingual threenager who’s waist-high.
It takes a village, I have felt this from the very beginning as I was the first one out of my mates in London to have children and then I moved here to the other side of the planet. So finding that support with a child that is changing every single day is tough. We weren’t meant to be isolated in our homes raising children.
Giving and receiving advice —
Make sure you ask for help when you need it, we often put this mammoth pressure on ourselves to figure it all out ourselves but I found HUGE comfort in sharing where I was at with my friends, family, through my social media platform. I felt like I had to bring people into exactly where the chaos of my head was some days and know that all my feelings were valid. It’s natural and our whole lives change, nothing is the same and that can be hard to digest.
Between teething and tantrums you lose sleep and sometimes yourself. I’m still surprised by how many people have the exact same experiences and have figured out great solutions. They might not be the solutions for you but can help you figure something out that works for you. As a family.
“Make sure you ask for help when you need it, we often put this mammoth pressure on ourselves to figure it all out ourselves but I found HUGE comfort in sharing where I was at with my friends, family, through my social media platform.”
Portia wears Harris Tapper top and Maggie Marilyn skirt, with Georgia Jay bag
Louise Graham, Co-Founder The Village, Mama to Magnus
Igniting inspiration —
I definitely feel inspired by the women I know who believe in themselves so fully and just fearlessly plunge into everything they do. It's so NOT me. I am very cautious, considered, and an over-thinker and love seeing the women I know (or don't know) just GO FOR IT. That's the energy I want to channel.
On finding balance —
This is tricky...Sometimes I think I have it. I drop my son at daycare, I go into The Village to work, I sneak in a gym class at lunch, and I'm like "yeah, I'm nailing it. I'm a whole person". Then, other times I'm taking zoom calls through tantrums, trying to work out while being clambered on, cancelling on friends, or meetings and, realise there is no balance and everything just blurs into one. I talk about this a lot with other people/parents who work from The Village. I look at them and think "whoa these people really have their sh*t together", and then once we get talking, we realise we're all just battling through trying to make everything work the best we can.
Staying grounded —
Be with my friends and family. Eat. Cook or go to restaurants. Exercise. People. Food. Movement - a winning combination.
“I talk about this a lot with other people/parents who work from The Village. I look at them and think “whoa these people really have their sh*t together”, and then once we get talking, we realise we’re all just battling through trying to make everything work the best we can. ”
Sarah Street, Founder and Creative Director, Bronwyn Footwear, Mama to Vinnie and Cas
Sarah wears Paris Georgia dress with Maggie Marilyn long blazer
Igniting inspiration —
I get my inspiration from everywhere, and although it sounds cliché, the women around me who I'm fortunate enough to have in my life, either as friends or colleagues, have always inspired me from a personal and professional perspective. I also find that when I'm designing my collections I'm referencing those women, and what they would need from a piece of footwear, and why they would love it, which helps me to create a really curated collection of pieces that I believe would serve them well. I also get a lot of inspiration from my husband, he's the most creative and talented person I know. My two beautiful boys inspire me every day to be a better human, to be more aware and more inquisitive, to take small moments and relish in them and to love deeply.
Of course my mum, my brand's namesake, inspires me in everything I do, particularly now that I am a mother, I often find myself referencing Mum and what she would do in similar situations.
On finding balance —
Balance is a thing I really struggle with and something I absolutely need to be better at, but I think it takes a lot of work and discipline to master. I used to be terrible at keeping a diary but it's a skill I've recently become good at which, as a creative, perfectionist and busy mum, has definitely helped me use my time more effectively. I actually think that being a mother has forced me into creating more balance out of necessity in some way, because we have so many more priorities as mothers. I think as women / female-identifying people we face a lot of judgement and criticism from society, and we're often packaged into these singular boxes with immense expectation and we are judged for every decision we make.
I also think when you become a mother, you lose a part of yourself, and you become this new woman who has this brand new baby, that takes centre stage in your life. Which is an incredibly beautiful thing, but equally as challenging, due to in part I think, what society expects of us. We're expected to create and birth this life, go through irrevocable change, and just be okay with that? I think society needs to recognise this huge, cosmic shift that happens to us when we become mothers, and allow us to keep a sense of our former selves, while supporting us to embrace this new self. Personally, my career is really important to me and it's a big part of who I am, and I am grateful that I have an incredible family who supports me in that, and that I have a career that I'm deeply passionate about that helps fulfil me creatively. I also recognise my immense privilege in having both of those things.
Our younger selves —
I would teach my younger self how to be more self loving and appreciate all the growth she has done so far, and not to worry about what other people may think of you, because honestly, it's none of your business and you shouldn't let it impact your life. I would also tell her to hug Mum more, take her out for more special dinners and weekends away because time is fleeting and life will be cruel and take her away sooner than you think.
“I think society needs to recognise this huge, cosmic shift that happens to us when we become mothers, and allow us to keep a sense of our former selves, while supporting us to embrace this new self”
To quit or pull through —
Honestly, starting a business with a young family in the middle of a global pandemic, there's been multiple times where I've questioned whether this is the right move. Financially, emotionally, it's a huge commitment for us, and we're still at the start of a very long and challenging journey. But I guess it's taken me a long time to learn that, this is one of those moments in life, where it can feel like you're standing on the edge of a cliff, and you don't know what's below and the thought of jumping is absolutely terrifying. And you get to a point where you can either choose to turn and walk away, or you can take a leap of faith and see what awaits you below. I think although the challenges are frequent, at times steep, and often feel like they may break you, the feeling of excitement and joy, doing something that you're deeply passionate about and really want to do even if you're not sure it will work out, is something that makes you want to take that jump. Because so often success is on the other side of that cliff, and the only way to get there is to jump.
My best friend also keeps telling me what great content all these stories will make when my time comes for a podcast interview, which I absolutely love her for.
Nancy wears Harris Tapper. Zeenat wears Maggie Marilyn
Photography — Clara Pafundi
Styling and Interview — Zeenat Wilkinson
Editorial support — Nancy Johnson-Hunt
Editorial and production assistance — Arna Howard
Photography Assistance — Caitlin McKone
Location — The Village
