Ellen Fromm — If exercise is a drug, what’s the come down?
Exercise is complex. No, not the movement part. Although I find chin-ups incredibly hard. I am talking about the concept of exercise. Mega complex, right? Especially thanks to everyone’s mate, Instagram. Boy, there are a lot of people, with a lot of opinions, creating a lot of mixed messages out there. Especially at the moment.
Every time I open Instagram I feel overwhelmed by a set of sculpted abs showing me a “6-minute-no-equipment-at-home-workout-that-will-have-me-looking-like-an-influencer-by-the-end-of-lockdown”. I call bullshit. I’d also like to unsubscribe to all the unsolicited workout content that keeps popping up everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re truly working out for your mental health - here’s a big, sweaty, virtual high-5. Good for you, but please stop posting about it. It’s adding to the insane amount of pressure I am feeling that I have to use this global pandemic to get ripped. I know this is untrue and ridiculous but I also know I’m not the only one feeling this way.
Because I, like most women I know, have a really complex relationship with exercise. I’ve spent years pounding the pavement for all the wrong reasons. I’ve lost sleep instead of the weight I thought I needed to lose. I’ve got niggly injuries that I KNOW would get better if I just gave myself the chance to rest. And through all of this, I’ve become addicted to exercise. Without it, I get fidgety, frustrated, anxious. My muscles crave movement. My brain doesn’t seem to function without it. I guess I am an exercise-aholic.
So how did I get here? Blessed with long limbs, I was a natural at most sports as a child. I didn’t train. I just put on shoes and was the fastest in my year. I picked up a netball and made the district team. This accidental humble brag is merely a demonstration of how little I thought about exercise. Back then, it was just fun.
Then, I guess around puberty, my attitude to sport started to warp. The thing that used to be playful and freeing became competitive and bitchy. In tandem, my body was changing. I didn’t know anything about nutrition. I got hips and “put on” weight. So for a long time, I saw exercise as damage control. My mentality was, what goes in must be slogged out.
Onto my next relationship with exercise. Instead of burning off calories, I came to use exercise as a means of burning off stress. I used high-intensity workouts to unwind. Do you see the contradiction in that sentence? Nah? Neither did I. I thought it was as simple as all exercise is good for you. So I continued to sweat away from the stress, while only growing more and more frustrated by my lack of results.
But during a pre-iso Grit class, I had an endorphin epiphany. Follow my thought train, if you can, “I’m tired. I’m exercising. I feel good. Endorphins are great! But aren’t endorphins addictive? Like cocaine… Shit. Burpees are basically cocaine. Oh shit. I am an addict. Is that why I’m here when I really should be asleep? Wait... If my body is currently pumped with endorphins, won’t I have a comedown?
And the rest of the class was spent doing half-assed clean and presses pondering how my post-gym comedown would manifest. Insatiable hunger? Sore muscles? Three days of feeling depressed? Exhaustion? Man, I’m always tired. Am I in a constant comedown? Or since I’m hopeless at resting, am I always high?
Let’s take a moment for science. Serotonin, norphenylephrine and endorphins are all released when we workout. These are our happy hormones. This is the good high. But overtraining adds stress to your body. It took me a little while to understand this. The old caveman analogy helped. Back in the day, we’d only run if we were running away from a pesky mountain lion. Yeah, we ran away from things. We ran to safety. So chemically, high-intensity exercise, like running, causes adrenaline and cortisol to pump through our limbs to help us to safety. When this state is prolonged, it creates the bad high. See stress, no matter what causes it, messes with your hormones and, in some instances, can make you gain weight, or limit how much you lose. How rude.
But, argh!! Nothing feels better than a tough gym session at the end of a hectic day. There’s no better way to release the stress, right? Oh so very wrong, my friend. When you’re relaxed, heck yes, HIIT is great. But when you’re stressed you need to soothe your nervous system. Yin yoga, tai chi, walking. Slow restorative exercise. Stretching. Rest days.
So, while everyone else is doing bicep curls with wine bottles, I am trying something new. I’m using this forced slow down to slow my addictive ways. To team with the theme of “exercise as a drug”, I guess I’m detoxing… I’m learning to rest (and not feel guilty for it) and give my strung out muscles a chance to repair. I’m learning to listen to my body and to use that as a guide for when to push and when to nourish. I am still addicted. I still have a long way to come down. Of course, I do. I’ve been high-intensity-high for a really long time.
And now what you all came here for, my unsolicited workout advice... Find a way to move your body that makes your insides happy. Move often, but not too often. Allow yourself to come down. Rest is where the magic happens. And finally, if you’re having a really stressful day, get up from your social scroll hole and take a walk. Just a little walk in the sun. See, walking modulates anxiety because discerning thoughts happen at the same speed. You can’t do both things at once! So as you’re strolling along to “Crazy in love”, all those shitty, anxious thoughts wander off too. Brilliant.
Ok. This was a long one. Go find some lycra. xx
Image — Bella Thomas by Ana Suntay-Tañedo
